A writer for HuffingtonPost, Ashley Feinberg, decided it would be a good idea to normalize someone in a sexual relationship with a freaking dolphin. I wish I was making that up…
Her article showcases an “amazing” interview with a man who has crossed the “species line” and made sweet love down by the fire… to a dolphin… except it wasn’t fired and it was in the water, DUH.
In case I wasn’t clear… yes, he had sexual relations with a DOLPHIN!!!
The man in question is Malcolm Brenner and he was featured in a documentary titled “Dolphin Lover” where he claims he was “courted” by Dolly the freaking dolphin… eventually resulting in the coitus between the two star-crossed lovers.
“She would rub her genital slit against me,” he says in the doc. “And if I tried to push her away, she would get very angry with me. One time, when she wanted to masturbate on my foot and I wouldn’t let her, she threw herself on top of me and pushed me down to the 12-foot bottom of the pool.”
“I’m hoping that in a more enlightened future, zoophilia will be no more regarded as controversial or harmful than interracial sex is today,” he said in “Dolphin Lover.”
Though according to Brenner, it may not be all it’s cracked up to be as he feels their relationship developed too quickly…
“It was a very stereotypical romance,” he explained. “I thought it went more back to ‘Splash’ with Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks, like a female version of ‘Splash.'”
Feinberg’s questions are in bold text:
“Does it bother you at all that people only seem to find this acceptable when it’s fantasy or an allegory? And do you think there will be a day when that changes?”
“Of course it bothers me. I don’t like people threatening to go Lorena Bobbitt on me because I made love with a dolphin.”
“Will it change? Who knows? I would like to think that society will become less religious, because the prohibitions in Leviticus are the only conceivable basis for any laws against bestiality. I can’t see that my boffing my dog has any effect on society, good or ill, as long as I’m not hurting her or abusing her. Laws against animal cruelty ought to be sufficient without criminalizing the act of interspecies sex, which organizations like PETA are trying to do.”
“Do you see this movie as a step toward acceptance at all?”
“I don’t see it as a step toward acceptance. It’s so obviously a fantasy that most people won’t carry the goodwill over to zoophiles like me. Ask me again when I’ve signed a film contract for Wet Goddess. But I want to be clear about one thing: I didn’t write Wet Goddess for zoophiles. I wrote it for dolphins.”
And there you have it… I think I may have reached the end of the internet… what else could POSSIBLY be left?